What she wouldn't have known, however, was that though her husband would be older, he would earnestly love her, and life would be good for them. They would know prosperity - but they would also know challenge.
The challenge of infertility shaped the first 20 years of Rebekah's marriage. It's a challenge that has left a devastating mark on many women's lives - and marriages - through the centuries. No cry echoes as deep as that of a woman whose longings for a child go unanswered. To the people of Rebekah's day, barrenness was viewed as a matter of shame - and evidence that God's hand was not on her marriage, but against it. No doubt, twenty years of barrenness left an indelible scar in the hearts of Isaac and Rebekah - and on the heart of their marriage.
Scripture tells us that "Isaac prayed to the Lord on behalf of his wife, because she was barren. The Lord answered his prayer, and his wife Rebekah became pregnant." Genesis 25:21
For Rebekah, her dream of carrying a child soon became a nightmare. Rebekah was pregnant with TWINS (the first twins recorded in scripture) and as they jostled within her, Rebekah felt as though she was being torn asunder.I remember how miserable my own daughter was toward the end of her pregnancy with twins. There was no position comfortable for sleep. If she laid on her back it put such weight and pressure on her spinal cord that she was miserable. If she laid on either side, the baby on the bottom would be subjected to his/her siblings' weight and would become uncomfortably active. She ended up buying a nice big over-stuffed recliner that would cushion her in a semi-sitting position and enable her to at least get short naps until the babies were born.
They didn't make Lazy-Boys when our sister, Rebekah, was pregnant. Too bad. Nor did Rebekah have the benefit of all the wonderful books on pregnancy with multiples that my daughter did. Rebekah was miserable and confused. Hers was not like any pregnancy she'd ever witnessed in her sisterhood of women. We have to wonder if she thought her pain might be an indication this long desired pregnancy would not result in the healthy baby she wanted so badly. We have to wonder if she feared even surviving the birth. As the babies within her struggled, Rebekah wondered "why am I like this?"
Isn't that a question we've all asked the Lord at some point? We pray for the perfect job, and then we're distressed when it's not all we hoped for. We pray for the ideal mate, and then we're taken aback when he leaves socks in the floor and whiskers in the sink. We pray for God to bless us with children, and then we balk when motherhood isn't filled with endless Gerber smiles. Why am I like this? What is happening to me? We all ask the questions.
I love the fact that our strong-willed sister, Rebekah (who probably felt a great deal less than "strong" at this point in time) did not seek guidance from another expectant mother -nor a midwife - nor even her husband. Rebekah went straight to the Lord with her questions. And - here's the good part - He not only listened - He ANSWERED! Can we just revel in that fact for a minute? The Great and Awesome God of the Universe spoke one-on-one with a woman - about her pregnancy. Does the Lord care about our EVERY need? Count on it!
God revealed to Rebekah that she was carrying twins. He told her He would make two nations of her two sons and that the older son would serve the younger. Quite a prophetic earful for our miserably pregnant sister to digest! You have to wonder if it raised more questions for her than it answered. You have to wonder if she kept the news to herself and pondered it in her heart - or, if she ran straight to tell Isaac ... and then, maybe her girlfriends.
"When the time came for her to give birth, there were twin boys in her womb. The first to come out was red, and his whole body was like a hairy garment; so they named him Esau. After this, his brother came out, with his hand grasping Esau's heel; so he was named Jacob." Genesis 25:24-26
Whew. It hurts just imagining that birth, doesn't it? No epidural for Rebekah. One baby born right after the other. Almost simultaneously. The second one with an arm stretched forth so that his little shoulder was coming down the birth canal right beside his head. I'm gritting my teeth just thinking about it!
The verse that is probably most pivotal in this whole saga, however, describes their family dynamics after the birth of the twins. Genesis 25:28. "Isaac ...loved Esau, but Rebekah loved Jacob." Notice that the verse does NOT say: Isaac loved Esau AND Rebekah loved Jacob. That would be bad enough. But. NO. It says: "BUT" Rebekah loved Jacob. Whenever you see "BUT" in scripture, you can count on the fact that it is significant. It lets you know that some vital comparison is about to be made. Even if there are positive statements on either side of the "BUT," it still alerts us to a problem.
In this case, it seems to be saying that Rebekah loved Jacob INSTEAD OF Esau. WOW! Rebekah's motherly affection ran in one direction - straight toward her favorite son. Did Jacob get larger portions at meals? Did he get fancier trim on his tunics? Did he find an ever-available lap when he was little and a listening ear when he was older? Was he doted on, fussed over and protected by his mother the way a lioness guards her cubs?
You may have a different view, but I'm inclined to agree with the commentators who feel Rebekah likely favored Jacob from the day God revealed his plan for her young son. I do believe that our scriptural sister was a multi-faceted woman - a bundle of personal contradictions. Few among us are one-dimensional. Yet, how far do we ever really stray from the central core of our character? Rebekah had the faith to follow God's providence to the tents of Isaac but, even in that, could part of her focus have been the obvious wealth and privilege it would mean? Rebekah always seemed to display a desire to be on the "winning" (most favored, blessed) side.
While the boys were still in her womb, had Rebekah already made up her mind that whoever was born second would have her undivided attention? I believe she had. I can't really relate to loving one of your children more than the others. But I know people who can, and you probably do too. Some of us may even have grown up in a family where one child was favored over another. Some may know the pain and emotional damage first hand. Can I just say, there are no perfect parents. Our sister, Rebekah, was a LONG way from being a perfect parent. And, no matter how greatly we desire to be or how diligently we try - we're a long way from being a perfect parent too. And so were our parents. If your parents failed you when you were growing up - and they probably did - you will find healing if you will forgive their "trespasses against you." In fact, it's the ONLY way you will find healing. You have a perfect HEAVENLY FATHER, and He stands ready to heal your "parenting pains" - those done TO you - and those YOU have inflicted on your children (no matter how unintentionally). Take a lesson from one of Rebekah's good examples and run to the Lord for the guidance you need!
One other thing that is noteworthy before we let go of this portrait of Rebekah's parenting: while the scripture plainly says "Rebekah loved Jacob," no where does it tell us that Rebekah loved her husband, Isaac. It says that Isaac loved Rebekah but it does not state that she returned that heartfelt affection. Instead, the scriptural portrait we see of our sister is that she loved her child. I wonder how many men have endured their wives affections being directed toward their children to the neglect of their husbands. I'm not going to belabor that point because, goodness knows, I made more than my fair share of mistakes in that area over the years! I'm thankful for the grace of God and the forgiveness of a wonderful husband. But if God shows you something about yourself in the focus of your affections - spend some time talking with Him about it.
We'll look tomorrow at the third scriptural portrait of our sister, Rebekah, and see the prejudice that wrought havoc in her family.
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