Out of Alignment

It's been more than three weeks since I posted. What happened to my great intentions of writing a short "blurb" every day??? The same thing that happens to most of my great intentions . . . LIFE! Don't we get caught up in all the daily urgencies! And trust me, life with two five year olds has more than it's share of "urgencies". You may not consider it "urgent" for me to color a page in a new Christmas Strawberry Shortcake coloring book, but my granddaughter sure does! GRIN!

I've had a topic milling around in my brain for several weeks ... and even a clever title to segue it from the "birthday" topic of my last post. Every time I think I'll find a few minutes to write something steals a portion of the allocated time and my arch enemy, perfectionism, rears its ugly head and tells me there is not adequate time to do the topic justice so I'd best wait until there is. ARGH! Therein lies the secret of many "defeats" over the course of my life! Perfectionism and it's deception of "do it right or not at all". So here we go, dear friends - this morning I will lay perfectionism (and all its lies) aside. I will trust that time to write on the other topic will come when it's God's timing - not mine. I will simply write what God placed on my heart this morning.

This morning I poured my coffee and did something I rarely do. I glanced at the morning newspaper before moving to my quiet time. On the obituary page I saw the announcement of the death of a woman I knew many years ago at a former church and thought how sad it was for her family to lose their mother, a very sweet and loving woman, right at the beginning of the holidays. Then my eyes fell on the picture of a precious little four year old girl who had died and my heart ached for her parents and family. As I read her obituary and discovered that she was the second child this couple has lost, my heart flooded with compassion for them. I cannot even imagine how hard it must be to lose one of your children ... much less two! Beneath her obituary was one of a 13 year old boy who died in a motorcycle accident. Oh the compassion I felt for these families! I prayed for God's comfort and mercy to surround them in a mighty way.

Across the page from the obituaries were the mug shots of 16 men who have been arrested as sexual predators through an internet sting operation. I looked at their faces and marveled at how ordinary - how "any man on the street" they looked. Aren't people that evil supposed to LOOK evil? I read the captions under their pictures curiously wondering if any were local. Some were. But did I feel compassion for them? Did my heart ache for what they and their families must be going through? No. Mostly, I just felt disdain. And I felt sad for their victims. And, selfishly, I felt relieved that their particular evil had not touched the lives of anyone I know and love.

Then, I went to my room for my quiet time with the Lord. I read Luke 15:1-7:
Now the tax collectors and "sinners" were all gathering around to hear him. But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law muttered, "This man welcomes sinners and eats with them."
Then Jesus told them this parable: "Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Does he not leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it? And when he finds it, he joyfully puts it on his shoulders and goes home. Then he calls his friends and neighbors together and says, 'Rejoice with me; I have found my lost sheep.' I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who do not need to repent."

For weeks I have been asking God to align my heart with His. I want the things that move Him to move me. I want to pray in a way that reflects His heart. Oh my, how out of alignment I am sometimes! Aren't these 16 men, with all their dispicable acts and intentions, EXACTLY who Jesus seeks to save?? Shouldn't their desperate need for a savior move my heart to deepest compassion? Jesus loved them enough to die for them. Shouldn't there be a glimmer of love in my heart towards them? Shouldn't I be compelled to interceed for their souls? Apart from Christ they will spend eternity in hell. Shouldn't that break my heart?

May God forgive my smug self-righteous spirit. May He give me more compassion and less disdain. May He give me more faith and less doubt.

Yes, I've read many of the statistics about sexual predators and how they seldom really change. But you know what ... I believe in a God Who is bigger than statistics. I believe in a God Who made the heavens and the earth by His great power and outstretched arm. Nothing is too hard for Him. (Jeremiah 32:17) I believe in a Savior Who came to seek and to save that which was lost. (Luke 19:10) I can picture my Shepherd seeking these men, lifting their wounded souls to His shoulders and carrying them to salvation with the sound of heaven's rejoicing ringing in His ears.

And, I believe in a God Who is going to align this pharisee's heart with His ... though the process may be long and arduous!