Anticipation

August 8, 1975 - John's 5th Birthday

Anticipation. Remember that old ditty from the television commercial? The picture was of an upturned ketchup bottle with the ketchup slowly . . . ever so slowly . . . entirely TOO slowly . . . inching its way toward the lip of the bottle. The background singers sang: "Anticipation – it’s keeping me waiting ..."

My son’s entire fourth year of life was one of anticipation. For some still unknown reason he believed being FIVE was going to be the answer to all his hopes and dreams. Five was the magical age in his mind. I don’t think he even enjoyed being four because of a constant preoccupation with the wonders that would be his when he turned five. For months and months he began every other sentence with "When I am five I can ...." No rationale could change his mind. His belief system was steadfast.


"When I am five I can ride my bike."

On his 5th birthday his dad removed the training wheels. Can you guess what happened? Yes. On his first attempt at riding on just two wheels, over he tumbled. The result? Two skinned knees. He whined awhile over his bandaged knees but it didn’t take him long until his 5 year old bravado paid off and he was riding his bicycle like a pro.

"When I am five I can SWIM."

We went to the local pool for swimming lessons. The instructor asked the group how many of them could already swim. Up went John’s hand. I was standing behind the fence madly signaling "no – No – NO!" to the lifeguard but her focus was totally on her group of children. "Jump in and let me see you swim," she instructed. Totally confident in his belief, John jumped off the side right into the pool and right into water over his head. Can you guess what happened?

I have to pause here to laugh. When I told this story to my VBS classes this summer, the children would respond to my question with – "he drowned." No, thankfully, he didn’t drown! But, had the instructor not rescued him, he might have. John came up spitting and sputtering and for the next two days my brave 5 year old sat on the edge of the pool and cried like a little sissy baby. Eventually, he did learn to swim!

Sometimes things just don’t work out the way we anticipate, do they?

When Jesus told Peter that before the rooster crowed the next morning he would deny knowing Him three times, Peter never anticipated that would be true. Instead, he replied, "Even if I must die with you, I will not deny you!" (Matt. 26:35) Yet, we all know what happened, don’t we?

Despite his bravado of following Jesus into the courtyard of the High Priest after His arrest, Peter did, indeed, deny that he was an associate of Jesus’. Not once. Not twice. But, three times. Just as Jesus had foretold.

A couple of years ago God did a mighty work in my life in an area that has been a major struggle most of my adulthood. My weight. Over the course of a year or so, under God’s direction, my resolve regarding weight loss was NOT to diet. I desired to be a good steward of the physical body God had given me. I resolved to only to eat healthy foods, in healthy amounts and incorporate healthy activity into my life. I went from a size 16 (with a couple of size 18’s in my closet that I cut the labels out of because I was so ashamed) to a size 4! No one was more amazed than me. I had no ambition to get that small. My goal had originally been to get down to size 10. But then I refocused my "goal" and told God I wanted to be whatever size He wanted me to be.

I never dreamed it would be size 4. I wasn’t even sure I wanted to be a size four. That size isn’t nearly as plentiful in stores as size 10. I was amazed at the weight loss and unable to explain it except to say that God had done "exceedingly abundantly" more than I ever thought or asked. I anticipated maintaining that size for the rest of my life. I anticipated eating healthy foods, in healthy amounts and incorporating healthy activity into my life for the rest of my life.

Well, guess what? After about a year, I began to eat a few NOT so healthy foods. Then, a few more. And a few more. Soon, "junk" food was back as a staple of my daily diet. Soon, healthy amounts became the excessive amounts of my past. Soon, the healthy activity began to diminish. Today, I am back up to a size 10 – and the size 10’s are getting tight. ARGH!! This wasn’t what I anticipated!

When Peter failed to stand steadfast for God as he’d anticipated doing, he was devastated. The scripture says "he went out and wept bitterly." (Matt. 26:75) I believe Peter was bitterly disappointed in himself. Disappointed that he had not acted in the manner he’d anticipated.

I can relate. I am disappointed in myself too. I am disappointed that I have once again regained a goodly portion of the weight I’d lost. I am disappointed that I have not acted in the manner I’d anticipated.

A wise person wrote:
Disappointment can be GOD’S APPOINTMENT.

After Peter wept his disappointed tears, Jesus appeared to him and commissioned him for future service. And Jesus did it three consecutive times – representative of the three times Peter had denied Him. Three times Jesus commissioned Peter to serve Him by serving His people. (John 21:15-17)

Did not being able to ride his bike like he anticipated keep my son from EVER riding his bike? NO! Did not being able to swim the first time he jumped in the pool after he turned the magical 5 years old keep my son from EVER being able to swim? NO! Did denying his savior render Peter useless in the Savior’s kingdom? NO! Does my weight gain mean I will never be the size God wants me to be? NO!

Some of you are thinking that perhaps a size 10 is what God wants me to be. I don’t know. If it is, that’s fine.

All I know is, I can’t keep whining over my skinned knees. I can’t keep sitting on the side of the pool crying like a little sissy baby. I can’t keep weeping bitter tears of disappointment in myself. I need to lay disappointment aside and keep God’s APPOINTMENT.

What the Spirit brings to my mind are the words to a song:
I will arise and go to Jesus,
He will enfold me in His arms.
In the arms of my dear Savior,
Oh, there are ten thousand charms.

Charms! Charms like – mercy, grace, forgiveness, restoration, direction, love, anointing . . . and SO many more!

Open your arms, Lord. Here I come!