This morning I opened the devotional book I'm currently using to see what the scripture reading for today was - Galatians 4: 4-7. I opened my Bible and began to read. For those of you who don't want to look it up, verse 6 says: "...God has sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, crying, Abba! Father!" Sure am glad no one else was home to hear me shout!! GRIN How can people doubt God's sovereignty in their lives? It's all around us in all the tiny little details of our days. Thank you precious Abba for allowing me to experience You this morning before I began to write about that very thing! You are an absolutely awesome wonder! I'm SO grateful my times are in your hands (Ps. 31:15). Your timing is always perfect!
Most of the things I wrote yesterday about encountering Abba when I was in Jerusalem are excerpted from the journal I wrote when I returned home (which I titled "A Journey to My Father's Home"). I was compelled to write of the experience because it was so profoundly personal at the time and evoked such emotion in me that, for months afterward, it was impossible for me to speak of it without just sobbing and sobbing.
There were times during my depression that I clung to those words of love as though my life depended upon them. And there were times that my depression was so deep and so dark and my disdain of life so real that perhaps my life truly did depend on them. Can you understand if I say I clung to those words and yet, at the same time, confess to a spirit of unbelief regarding them? I think, like Mary's response to Gabriel's pronouncement, I wondered "how can this be?" I hated myself so how could I believe God loved me? Yet, I kept hearing Him say, "Reach out your arms little girl. Run to your Abba. I'm here to pick you up."
I had allowed my TAWG (time alone with God), my "quiet time", to become spasmodic, hit or miss; and, at times, non-existent. A few months into my new "healthy habits" resolve I was exercising one morning and I said, "Lord, You've done SO much for me physically and emotionally over the past few months but I'm still not where I long to be spiritually." Very quickly He answered, "That's because you are not giving Me the attention you are giving your eating and your exercise."
Oh my!! You know how sometimes God will say something to you that just brings you immediately to your knees (or on your face) before Him? Well, that did it for me! I spent some significant time before Him in confession and repentance and purposed that before ANYTHING else, I would spend time with Him each morning.
Now, let me say, the value of a meaningful quiet time was NOT a new revelation for me. It's been an important and vibrant part of my life as a believer for many many years. But, oh my, isn't it easy to let other things crowd it out! Isn't it easy to let it "fall by the wayside"! I have a quote from the late Adrian Rogers written in the back of my Bible and my life gives testimony to its truth:
These things hath God married,
and no man shall part;
Dust on the Bible,
and drought in the heart.
This Spring God took me a step further in my understanding of Him as Abba when I returned to a daily structured practice of spending time in His word and prayer.
My routine is to first read in my Bible the selected scripture passage that's outlined in whatever devotional book I'm using at the time (and I always ask God to direct which book I'm to use at a given time). I read the scripture slowly, asking God to open my eyes to see wondrous things in His law (Ps. 119:18). I read it from my Bible (some devotional books have it printed along with the commentary) so that I can underline phrases or words that the Holy Spirit brings to light as I read. I want to hear what He has to say to me before I read what a commentary has to say. Then I read the devotional commentary, asking God to give me discernment to hear in my spirit only HIS truth in what I read. I always use devotionals by authors I fully trust to rightly divide the word of truth BUT, my goal is to hear from God - not man.
After I've read the scripture and the commentary, I journal my prayer; conversing with God about what I've read and what I feel He is saying to me that morning. One morning a few weeks into my renewed commitment for meaningful TAWG, I felt God say to me that I was to begin my journal entry every morning with the same two sentences. "Good morning, Abba. This is Your beloved child, Beverly." At first that seemed kind of silly to me ... especially the second sentence. I thought, God knows who I am - why should I have to tell Him. But, feeling foolish in writing it or not, let me tell you, God has used this simple little thing to radically transform my relationship with Him. Here's how:
When I write "Good morning":
- I'm immediately reminded that this is the day the Lord has made and I am to rejoice and be glad in it (Ps 118:24). I don't always wake up in a "rejoicing" mood, do you?
- I'm reminded that time with Him is to be my first order of the day. ("O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I direct my prayer to you and wait in expectancy." Ps 5:3)
- I'm reminded Who is in charge of my day. ("O God, you are my God; early will I seek You. Ps. 63:1)
- my tender, loving, compassionate Daddy with arms outstretched to welcome me
- my Heavenly Father, the Creator of the Universe, the Sovereign King - the whole earth is His and everything in it (Ps 24:1) ... the cattle on a thousand hills (Ps 50:10)
When I begin to write the second sentence, as soon as I capitalize the Y in "Your" (This is Your ...) I am reminded:
- I belong to Him - Isa. 43:1(personalized in my Bible) "But now thus says the Lord, he who created you, Beverly, He who formed you, Beverly: Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine."
- I was bought with a price - I Cor 6:19-20 "You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."
Then I write "beloved" and I am reminded:
- He loves me with an everlasting love - Jer. 31:3 (therefore He has continued His faithfulness to me)
- His steadfast love never ceases - Lam. 3:22
- NOTHING can separate me from His love - Rom. 8:38-39
Next comes the word "child" and it reminds me:
- because I received Him as my personal Savior I am his child - John 1:12 - born not of the will of flesh nor the will of man but of GOD
- He chose me before the foundation of the world and wants me to walk holy and blameless before him - Eph. 1:4-5 - He predestined me for adoption through Jesus Christ
- He sealed me with the Holy Spirit who is the guarantee of my inheritance as His child - Eph. 1:13-14
- He has called me, His treasured possession, out of darkness into his marvelous light - I Peter 2:9
Lastly, I write my name. That which I first thought so silly has become incredibly special to me. It was not for God's benefit that he asked me to write my name. It was for mine. Every morning when I write "Beverly" I remember:
- He has my name engraved on the palms of His hands (Isa. 49:16)
It took significant time for me to outline these thoughts that go through my mind each morning as I write those two simple sentences to begin my journal. In actuality, those thoughts - though they differ from day to day - wind their way through my mind and spirit in a matter of seconds. But they never fail to bring me to a place of worship and adoration for our great and awesome God. For me, they are a daily rehearsal of magnificent TRUTH and they bring me into God's presence at an intimate level that nothing has before. He is the Lover of my Soul! He is my Abba!
This morning brought with it another personal remembrance for me. Today would have been my daddy's 84th birthday. He died in 1986 when he was just about the age I am now. As I think of him, I feel so very blessed to have had him as my father. Every little girl should be so fortunate. My daddy delighted in me every day of my life. Oh what a priceless gift for a child to be given! Receiving the kind of unselfish, unconditional love my daddy showered on me paved the way for me to understand God's love. Perhaps the exceptional relationship I was blessed to have with my earthly Daddy is what makes my relationship with my Heavenly Daddy - my precious Abba - so unimaginably special!
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