First Things First

One of the most important things to determine when you decide the time has come to lose weight is WHY you are overweight in the first place. Many of us are what the experts call "emotional eaters". We eat for reasons other than physical hunger.

Last Spring I read Bob Greene's book, The Best Life Diet. It may be one of the best "diet" books I've ever read ... and, trust me, I've read PLENTY of them over the years and my bookcase gives testimony to it! One of the things he said that really got my attention was " ... losing weight will boost your confidence and self-esteem for a short time, but real joy is only going to come to you if you clear up the issues in your life that send you running to the refrigerator." (pg.22) At the time, my confidence level was nil and self-esteem non-existent. Yet, I knew what he said was true from remembering how I felt at the times I'd lost weight in the past. And, oh my, how badly I wanted joy - real joy.

I began to realize that not resolving the issues that prompted me to overeat was a major reason I always gained back whatever weight I lost. It's a lot easier to change the foods you eat for a period of time than it is to confront deep rooted emotional issues and do something about them. For most of us the emotional reasons we overeat may be as many as the excess pounds themselves. They are as unique to each individual as we ourselves are uniquely individual. That's just simply to say, we may both be overweight because we eat from emotion instead of hunger but the triggers for our emotional eating may be as different as night and day.

Confronting the truth and admitting what we need to change in our lives can be a scary thing. Fear - fear of what we might discover, fear what we might be required to do - often stops us in our tracks. It's definitely the enemy's favorite ploy in my life. He frequently keeps me stalemated and stagnant in "fear". But God has not given us a spirit of fear. He has given us a spirit of power, of love and of a sound mind. (2 Tim 1:7) And Satan is a defeated foe!

I used to have a little flip-calendar, Never Forgotten - Always Loved, by Roy Lessien. One of the daily messages said: "We never need to fear the voice of God in our lives. The sound of His voice, whether He speaks directly or uses a messenger, is the sweetest sound our hearts can ever hear. If He speaks to us about a sin, it is to heal us ... if He speaks about our trials, it is to comfort us ... if He speaks about our needs, it is to assure us. His words are always those of hope, of peace, and of love. They will lead us into life, goodness, and exceeding great joy."

Well, like I said earlier, I wanted joy. And I know WHO is the source of real joy - of exceeding great joy. So, with fear and trembling I began to ask God to show me what the roots of the emotional issues that I was trying to satisfy with food really were. I didn't want to see the surface symptoms and just put a bandage on them. I wanted to see the deep seated roots. I wanted to dig them out so they couldn't return.

Healing emotional issues is a progression. It doesn't happen overnight. And God graciously doesn't overwhelm us with a list of 1 to 100 all at one time. He's tender and compassionate and leads us into His truth with cords of lovingkindness. God's first revelation to me was quite a surprise to me. He began to gently show me that I did not truly believe He loved me. I was stunned.

Back in the mid 90's it was my great privilege (and delight) to lead several groups through the study of Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby. In every group, someone would inevitably say "I never really believed God loved me." I was astounded every time. I had known God loves me from my earliest remembrance. I'm sure my mother sang "Jesus Loves Me" to me when she rocked me as a baby in her arms. I was blessed to grow up attending wonderful Bible believing churches and being taught by godly teachers who reinforced God's steadfast love at every opportunity. I never doubted it. It would have almost been impossible for me to NOT know God loves me.

If anyone had asked me if I knew God loved me, I would have answered "Oh yes, with all my heart." Ahhh ... but the heart is deceitful (Jer 17:9) and knowing something in your mind is different from BELIEVING the truth deep within your spirit.

One of the strongholds that has held me captive for many years is perfectionism. (I call it a generational bondage because my mother also is oppressed by it, as was her mother, and I suspect her mother before her.) God's doing a mighty work in breaking down this stronghold in my life - but that's a story for another day. For now, just let me make sure you understand that perfectionism does NOT mean I do things perfectly! It just means I THINK I have to and when I fail ... which I always do (because "perfection" will never be attained by any of us this side of heaven) ... I beat myself up mentally. The negative self-talk I subject myself to creates emotional wounds. Wounds that are continually reopened and never allowed to heal. God showed me that over the years, remaining in this stronghold had encouraged me to dislike myself. Not liking or loving myself made me believe no one else could love me either - not even God. God began to teach me the truth of His love and tear down the lies of perfectionism.

The first thing God showed me as He unfolded His steadfast love and wrapped it around me was that it wasn't "about me" ... it was about HIM. That sounds backwards, doesn't it? If we want to show someone how much we love them we center all attention on them, don't we? Well, God did it the other way around. He showed me that if I focused on Him ... Who He is ... then I would understand how He loves me. I pulled out an old devotional book, Living and Praying in Jesus' Name by Dick Eastman & Jack Hayford, to use in my morning quiet times and God began to speak His love into my heart day by day. He revealed Himself in many ways but most poignantly as ABBA. I'll share more specifically about that in the next blog.

For now, what I want to make sure you understand that God did not begin to show me His great and awesome love AFTER I lost weight. He wanted me to KNOW His love and complete acceptance from the very beginning. And, I believe, He wants that for you too. God loves us with an everlasting love. He has our names inscribed on His hand. He loves us just as we are. He loves us fat or thin. He loves us when we're completely obedient to our diet and He loves us when we've blown it and "pigged out". Rejoice in the revelation of God's love for you today. Nothing can separate you from His love (Rom 8: 38-39). Oh what exceedingly great joy!!!