Less of me, more of HIM

When Roy and I married (November 1964) I was a tiny, petite 5'2" - eyes of blue - and 105 pounds. Child #1 arrived in 1966 and left me with an extra 10 pounds on my little frame, #2 arrived in 1970 and added another 10 pounds, and after #3 arrived in 1971 I began to gain weight in staggering amounts. For the next 35 years I fought the battle of the bulge - and most of the time, I lost. Up and down, up and down, up and down - I was the classic yo-yo dieter. Over the years I've tried every diet known to man - many times with great success - but never with any LASTING results.

Labor Day weekend 2006 a minor kitchen accident sent me to the local emergency room. While there my blood pressure skyrocketed to scary readings. The medical personnel were ALL so preoccupied with my blood pressure I wondered if they were even going to do anything about my cut finger. GRIN! They acted like I was on the verge of having a stroke and God used their sense of alarm to get my attention.

By this point in my life, I had just about given up the hope of ever being anything other than overweight and out of shape. I'd decided I would just live the rest of my life like I was and make the best of it (frankly, there was no "best" of it!). But now, watching the nurses fret every time they took a blood pressure reading, I realized I didn't want to live with impairments from a stroke.

I knew the answer to bringing my blood pressure under control was in DIET and EXERCISE! Yuck, yuck and double yuck. How I hated those two words! When I was finally alone with the Lord I remember telling Him (somewhat defiantly) that I did not ever intend to diet again. Yet, I knew I had to do "something". I told Him I had no desire to be thin - but I did desire to be healthy. I told Him I didn't want a diet - I wanted a lifestyle - and one I could enjoy on top of that! I told Him that if I couldn't find a way to eat that I could enjoy and stick with for the rest of my life, I didn't want to do anything. I asked Him to show me how I could begin to eat healthy foods in healthy amounts and how I could incorporate healthy activity into my life.

Immediately he brought to my mind an article I had read in Prevention magazine while waiting in the ER. The article said that a group of people who ate frozen Lean Cuisine or Smart Ones entrees lost an average of eight pounds more over a six week period than their counterparts who were simply told to "diet". The reason, of course, was simply the convenience the pre-packaging lent to portion and calorie control. I thought, "Hmmm - I could do that." There's a wide enough variety of products for the meals not to be boring and I actually like most of them. I told the Lord I really didn't care how much weight I lost but that if I could lose a pound a week from then (Sept 5th) to Thanksgiving I would be ecstatic.

That was the beginning of what, for me, has been an incredible journey. Over the first few weeks, most days, I ate cereal and fruit for breakfast, a frozen entree for lunch, a larger entree for supper and fruit for snacks in between. Some days I added a salad at lunch or supper. I never allowed myself to get very hungry. If I was hungry, I ate fruit or crackers - just enough so that I wouldn't be ravenous by mealtime. I determined early on that I would not "deprive" myself of any food I really wanted. I think the deprivation mindset ultimately sabotages you. You endure being "deprived" for the goal of losing weight - then when you have lost the weight, you reward yourself with all the things you've wanted and been deprived of - and wham, bam - you're right back where you started. I've "been there, done that" more times than I care to count. So, this time, I decided that if I craved a certain food I would eat it but I would try to do so in a reasonable amount that satisfied my hunger but also let me stay pretty close within my calorie allotment for the day.

Though I did not really "count" calories, I thought 1200 to 1500 calories a day would be a good goal to enable me to lose weight slowly. Did you catch that word, "slowly"? The breakfast cereal and lunch/supper entrees fit that caloric target very well. My desire to lose weight slowly was based on the fact that at my age (62) I think slower is healthier and slower gives you more time to mold new ways of eating into lasting habits that will help you maintain your weight loss.

Why do we always think we have to lose weight in a hurry? We didn't gain it in a hurry! Ah, but we are so steeped in the instant gratification philosphy of our culture! We want everything quickly. If we're going to be deprived of the things we really like then we don't want to be deprived any longer than absolutely necessary. But see, the difference for me this time was, I had decided I wasn't going to be deprived. I was going to eat the things I really liked if I wanted them. I wasn't going to starve myself. I was going to learn to eat in a way I could enjoy for the rest of my life. It wasn't ever going to be "over" ... so I didn't have to be in any hurry.

Like I mentioned before, I told God I'd like to lose a pound a week ... or even just half a pound would make me happy. It was 12 weeks until Thanksgiving and I wanted to lose 10 pounds by then. I told Him I'd like to lose about 30 - maybe 40 pounds overall and I didn't really care how long it took. [In case you are wondering ... It took awhile before I quit telling God what I wanted and asked Him what HE wanted! GRIN! As always, He was very patient with me.]

The first week, I lost 2.5 pounds. The second, 2 pounds. The third, another 2 pounds. And on and on - by Thanksgiving I had lost 21 pounds and was already beginning to feel better physically - AND emotionally. In the course of the year, the 30 pounds I thought I wanted to lose fell by the wayside and God's goal weight for me emerged. To date, I have ended up losing a little over 60 pounds! (And no, I didn't eat frozen entrees the whole year - GRIN! But I have tried to stay within the same calorie range.)

This has been the most marvelous journey for me. It has been incredibly easy. Too easy, almost. I've never lost this much weight before. This is the smallest I've been in 40 years so most of the people I know now have never known me at this size. It garners a lot of comments - a lot of questions - "how have you done it?" Well, what do I say? Count calories? Eat less, exercise more? Try Lean Cuisine? Sometimes it's hard to know how to respond. The truth is, I don't feel like "I've" done it at all. With all my heart I believe that God took my meager efforts and simply blessed them exceedingly abundantly above all I asked or thought (Eph 3:20).

But why did God choose to bless like this at this particular time? I honestly don't know. Perhaps it was so that I could comfort those who are afflicted just like I was, with the same comfort I received from Him. (2 Cor 1:3-4). My greatest desire is that God will use me as an instrument of His mercy and healing to others. We'll talk more over the coming days about some of the issues involved in weight loss and about the exciting adventure of exercise and activity. For now, let's just say "To God be the glory. Great things He has done!"