SAY WHAT??

I'm about three weeks into Beth Moore's new bible study on the book of James and I am extremely grateful that God had already begun dealing with me about the power of my tongue before I started this study! I just have to tell you, girlfriends, Beth's warning that the teaching of James was going to "get all up in our business" was SPOT ON!!! Within the first week, God was using this bible study to "get in my business."

I don't know about you, but I for one, am very thankful that God loves us enough to confront us through His Word about our words! I, for one, don't want to read scripture that says "be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19) and sit there thinking

"Uh huh - 'so-and-so' sure needs to hear that ... "

"Man, I sure hope 'so-and-so' pays attention to that one"

or even piously pray
"Lord, speak to 'so-and-so' through this word from Your Word"

OH NO!!!! Been there. Done that. Not going back to that sinful self-righteous trap! I want to hear what the Word has to say to ME. Moi. This old gray haired great-grandmother right here!!

And, I don't want to just HEAR it, either. I want to be CHANGED by it!! So . . . confront me, Lord. I want to hear You say, "Bevo, you've been the opposite - you've been quick to speak and slow to listen. You've been quick to get angry and you've let your anger spill out of your mouth." And I want to fall on my face before You and say, "Thank You, Abba, for loving me enough to tell me that. Thank You for loving me enough to forgive me. Thank You for Your discipline. Cleanse me. Create a clean heart in me. Touch my lips with a coal from Your altar like You did Isaiah's. Change me, O God. Psalm 19:14 is the life verse I chose for this blog. Oh how I want it to be TRUE in my life! I want the words that come out of my mouth - and even the thoughts that swirl in my constantly churning mind - to be pleasing to YOU. You, precious Lord, are my strength and my Redeemer."

Just before Christmas God allowed a mighty shaking to take place in my life. Some of the things that spilled out as I was shaken were none too pretty. I grieved like there had been a death in the family. And, indeed, there had been. A death of hopes, dreams, relationships, unity, peace - and SO much more. I cried like there was no tomorrow. I cried until I had to give up wearing mascara altogether. I cried until my face was a continual splotchy mess. I was an emotional wreck. Then the Lord sent a message about the ways we grieve and quench His Spirit. He showed me that He sent the Holy Spirit to be my Comforter and if I continued grieving like I was, I would be quenching His work in me. I began to praise God in the midst of the storm that was shaking everything I once found holy. I began to seek His comfort. And. I found His JOY - even while the storm still raged.

I was hurt. I was angry. It was easy to label the anger "righteous indignation" because the things that so deeply hurt my heart in the events that occurred, undoubtedly, hurt the heart of God as well. It was easy to picture Jesus making a whip and driving the money changers from the temple and to tell myself that my sharp words were of the same effect. But - they weren't. I had to recognize that my anger was self-centered. I was lied to. My pride rose up to ask, "How dare they?" Do you know how I KNOW my anger was wrong even though it was fueled by righteous indignation? James 1:20. It did not produce the righteousness of God! You see, girlfriends, we might do something for the right reasons - but we can sure do it in the wrong way. I'm thankful for the Word's reproof. I'm thankful for the opportunity to repent - and to apologise. [And, I'll be even more thankful when my husband quits teasing me about this "riled-up side" of me he'd never seen before. GRIN Just kidding, of course. But, truthfully, I think I scared the ole boy - ROFL]

For me, this has been a process of learning and growing and I'm so thankful that I am still able to learn... Especially, to learn from my mistakes. I am so thankful that I am still growing - that spiritual muscles are getting stretched instead of being stiff with atrophy.

I spend a lot of time on the "social network." I enjoy Facebook. Why do I feel like I'm at an AA meeting when I say that?? "Hello. My name is Beverly and I enjoy Facebook." ROFL I tell my young adult grandchildren that the only reason I'm on Facebook is to embarrass them - 'cause, you know, that's a grandmother's job. LOL But truthfully, I love knowing what's going on in their lives. The good and the bad. Those guys are a thrill to my heart every day of their lives. Reading what's going on in their lives helps me know how to pray for them.

I love keeping up with my friends on Facebook ... and since most of my friendships are centered in the church, that means these friends are a part of the body of Christ. Oh. Mercy Me. How the body of Christ I belong to blasted one another when things first blew up at our church. From the very beginning, God convicted me to speak truth and only when it would be helpful - to use words that were healing - not divisive. I'm not sure I accomplished that goal 100% - but speaking healing is what I'm committed to striving towards.

Last week, God gave me a fresh directive regarding my Facebook comments and the way I use my words. The munchkins had a half day of school and Roy wanted us to go with him in the afternoon to run his beagles. Not my cup of tea. I'm a city girl. Tromping through the woods listening to dogs bark is not my idea of fun. I was tired. I wanted a nap. But. I went. Well. Begrudgingly, but I went. LOL When we got home I did a FB status about "10 things I learned at Cane Creek." It was stuff like, "Mississippi mud will suck the shoe right off your foot." I thought I was ever so clever and witty.

Then my son - who truly IS clever and witty - commented that what his dad had learned at Cane Creek was that being deaf in one ear and a pack of dogs barking kept him from having to listen to a lot of complaining! John was being funny, of course, but the shoe fit - so I put it on. I WAS complaining! And trying to make my complaining look humorous. OMGoodness! Isn't that always how we "justify" sin? We just give it another name!

God convicted me that my conversation not only needs to be laced with healing words - but also words that bless. Whining and complaining don't bless anybody!

Thumper's daddy said it best in the old Disney movie, Bambi: "If you can't say something nice - Don't say nothing at all."

But here's how the apostle Paul said the same thing:
"Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers." Eph. 4:29

Oh, Father - set a guard over my mouth - keep watch over the door of my lips (Ps.141:3) - May the words of my mouth be pleasing to You and speak Your grace and healing to others.