Treasured Friends

Treasured friends bring a measure of blessing into our lives that is unequalled in other relationships. No matter how wonderful our relationships with our husbands, children and extended families may be, we women still have great need for friendships with other women. I read an anonymous quote a few weeks ago that spoke powerful truth to my heart. "Many people will walk in and out of your life. But only true friends will leave footprints in you heart."

I'm so thankful for the friends I've had who have left footprints in my heart. Bonnie Crabtree is one such friend. She left 33 years of footprints in my heart. Bonnie was my neighbor from 1973 until 1984 when we moved to the other side of town. In the 11 years we lived next door to one another Bonnie and I shopped together, cooked together, did needlework together, and mothered our children together. Our husbands fished together and many Friday nights the four of us would play canasta until our poor children fell asleep on the floor. There was a permanent path in the grass from my back door to hers. We shared a lot of laughter (and some tears together). I spent the night in her hospital room when her last baby was born and we giggled with joy over that sweet little boy until a nurse threatened to throw me out! Bonnie had a heart as big as all outdoors and I knew beyond any shadow of doubt that if anything ever happened to me, she would comfort my children as no one else could. All three of my children loved her dearly and would have taken her as a "second mom" any day of the week.

Less than a year after we moved, Bonnie and her family moved too. But they didn't move just across town. They moved all the way across the country. Thankfully, time and distance didn't destroy or even diminish our friendship. We were always able to talk to one another about our deepest fears or our greatest joys and know we'd find the acceptance we needed. We could go for months without talking to one another on the phone and then pick up right where we left off with the next call. We could tell one another things we'd never tell another person and not have a single fear that our confidence would be betrayed. How do you ever replace a friend like that? You don't! But you thank God for the effect their friendship had on your life. Bonnie died on Valentine's Day 2006 of colon cancer. I miss her desperately! She was a treasured friend in life and a forever friend in the memories in my heart. The sands of time will never erase her "footprints". They have left a permanent mark on my life.

When Bonnie died I was already in the darkest part of my depression. Seven months later, in September 2006, God had just begun His healing work of lifting my depression and bringing me back to Him when another treasured friend was diagnosed with colon cancer.

This Forever Friend has been a part of my life for nearly 50 years. Oh my goodness, the memories we have shared ... from church camps and double dates to rushing home from school to get her bedroom cleaned before her father's weekly "inspection". Lots of years and lots of laughter! Somewhere in our thirties, when I was a busy mother of three involved in the world of homemaking and she was the overworked career-girl involved in the corporate world, we lost touch with one another. For more than 20 years we didn't communicate. About 7 years ago our paths crossed again. We'd both changed a lot ... a lot more gray hair, a lot more wrinkles, a lot more pounds on our petite frames ... but one thing had remained the same - the depth of our friendship. My BFF (Best Friend Forever) as they say in the text-messaging commercials retained her cherished place in my heart and she began to tread once again on the footprints she'd left so many years before.

I was personally terrified when she wrote to tell me of her diagnosis. I could NOT face the prospect of losing another treasured friend to this dreaded disease. But this wasn't a time to think about "me". This was a time to think about HER. So I wrote back with as much positive encouragement as I could find and promised unceasing prayers on her behalf.

Best friends tell one another things they'd never tell anyone else, remember? She wrote back and confessed to me that she was more scared, more nervous, and more panicked over her diagnosis than she wanted any one to know. Then she said, "Bev, I have not prayed nor considered myself to be in God's good graces for many years now. I really need your help now. How do I begin? Is it as simple as prayer? Why would God listen to me now when I'm in need when I never prayed when things were going well in my life? I'm really emotional right now and I don't want my family to know how frightened I am."

Her plea for help sent me to the Word in a way I hadn't been in a LONG time. Oh - oh - oh the wondrous healing power of the Word!! Psalm 107:20 says "He sent forth His word and healed them; and rescued them from the grave." Little did I know that the things God directed me to share with her were some of the very truths He would use to minister MY own healing.

With her permission I share with you my response to her plea:

Hi dear friend ....
Wanted to remind you that I am praying, as the Bible says, "without ceasing". I can only imagine what you must be going through at this point. I know that no matter how optimistic doctors tell you to be, or how many friends and family members assure you this has been caught early and is treatable; a cancer diagnosis has still got to be the scariest thing you've ever faced.
You know that you are dearly loved by MANY - me among them!! But, are you remembering Who loves you most of all? Yep, that's right, God does!! He loves you with an everlasting love ... a perfect love ... and the Bible says that His perfect loves casts out fear (I Jn 4:18). I am praying that He will give you such an assurance of His love that it will settle deep within your spirit and bring an abiding sense of peace and of His presence.
I know that you have not been as active in your Christian commitment in recent years as you once were. You know that I have "Been there, done that" too, don't you? And because I've "been there, done that", I understand that you may wonder at this point if God will hear your prayers or if it's even right to cry out to Him when you're in trouble if you haven't been walking with Him in the good times. If that's the case, let me remind you of some truths He showed me once when I'd been estranged from Him for a long period.
First and foremost, when we accepted Christ Jesus as our personal savior (as we both did when we were children), we were SEALED with the Holy Spirit of promise and He is the guarantee of our inheritance (Eph 1:14). That means we belong to Him and NOTHING can ever change that. The Holy Spirit took up residence in our lives the day we became believers and He is still there today. We may quench His working, and grieve Him by our actions until we are not even any longer aware of His existence. But, He is still there ... still speaking in that still small voice. Do you know what He used to speak to me and bring me back to Him during the years I had strayed? Scriptures I had memorized in GA's when I was a little girl!!! Hey, guess what, Sweet Friend ... you achieved a higher rank in GA's than I did. That means there are more memorized scriptures buried in your brain than there ever was in mine. GRIN! I am praying that the Holy Spirit will bring them to the forefront and use them to minister to you in a tender and comforting way. Did you know that two of His "jobs" are to be our Remembrancer (Jn 14:26b) and our Comforter (some versions translate Comforter as Counselor and/or Helper).
Second, God doesn't hold grudges. He's not sitting up in heaven going "Well, she didn't even tell me thank you when I "(fill in the blank)" so why does she think I'm going to bless her now." No!!! A thousand times NO! Instead, He says: Call to me and I will answer you ... (Jer 33:3) For I know the plans I have for you ... plans to prosper you and not to harm you, to give you hope and a future. (Jer.29:14) and He reminds us that If we are faithless, he will remain faithful (2 Tim 2:13 .... and, personally, that's a verse I've had to claim MANY MANY times!).
Dear One, God has been faithful to you for many years. His faithfulness will not end because of a medical diagnosis, a dreaded surgery or unpleasant treatments. Remind yourself of His faithfulness in the past ... of how He's met your needs so many times. He has promised to never leave you or forsake you. Sing the hymn Great is Thy Faithfulness in your mind as you are falling asleep at night.
I HATE HATE HATE that you are having to go through this and would give anything if I could do something to spare you from it. But, with all my heart, I truly believe that God can and will take even this circumstance and use it for good in your life.
Meanwhile, can I recommend one more thing ....be honest about how you are feeling with your family and those around you. If you're scared, tell them you're scared. If you're nervous, tell them you're nervous. If you're sensing God's peace, tell them you feel peace. But whatever ... be honest. You don't have to put on a brave face for anybody. Your family and friends love you very dearly and they want to be there for you to comfort and encourage ... and, yes, to cry with you. But they're not mind readers. So, tell them how you feel and when you need a hug, tell them you need a hug. When you need them (or me) to not talk about it anymore and just leave you alone, don't be afraid to say so. It will greatly bless others to get to do for you what you need them to do. When someone you love faces this kind of challenge, it leaves you feeling very helpless and it is a tremendous blessing to get to do something for them. Consider your "needs" to be an opportunity to bless others, okay? I'm a long distance away and can't do much else, but I count it a tremendous blessing to be able to pray for you!
I love you, dear friend and appreciate you letting me walk through this with you. TTYS Beverly

• Did you need to be reminded that God loves YOU with an everlasting love? With a perfect love?
• Did you need to be reminded that YOU are sealed with the Holy Spirit of promise and have a guaranteed inheritance as a child of God?
• Did you need to be reminded that you might grieve the Holy Spirit by your actions or quench His working and that even if you are not aware of Him, He is still there?
• Did you need to be reminded that He will never leave YOU nor forsake you?
• Did you need to be reminded that when you have strayed from the Father all you have to do is call and He will answer?
• Did you need to be reminded that He has plans to prosper you and give you hope and a future? Did you need to be reminded that even when you are faithless, He is faithful?
• Did you need to be reminded that the Holy Spirit is your Remembrancer? Your Comforter?

My BFF and I both needed those reminders on the eve of our healings. Is it the eve of a healing in your life? If it is, remind yourself of some of the truths you know about our great and awesome God. Cling to them. Cling to Him! HE is the dearest Friend you'll ever have!